Rhonda Eudaly is a redhead, and therefore dangerous. She is, in fact, one of the Four Redheads Of The Apocalypse. If you're not sure what that means, read her blog and find out - or just head over to the Yard Dog Press website and order the chapbook. Do it now, hapless mortal. Or suffer for all eternity.

Rhonda originally wrote this for a contest in Weird Tales - a flash piece whose title comes from her spam email folder.

August 4, 2031 - MOLDOVA - The hills are alive with the screams of locals and random rolling electrical brownouts as the 75th annual Mad Scientist Monster Rally and Barbecue begins its week-long run. Inventors and scientists from around the globe converge on this small Eastern European country to compete for cash prizes, a spot on Discovery Channel's Why Did They Do That? and the possibility of finding and/or building a date.

This year twenty-eight contestants vie to see who can build the largest functional anthropomorphic creature. The scientists involved are allowed to bring in plans and a restricted list of materials. They then have forty-eight hours to complete their creation. The contestants are allowed to enter their labs at midnight on Wednesday, August 6th. Electricity will be pumped into the lab machinery for the "ah-ha" moment at precisely midnight, Friday, August 8th. For those who actually bring their monsters to life, as determined by a celebrity panel of television doctors and scientists, the competition moves to the second round of judging.

According to Dr. Frank Stein, founder of this competition, "the hardest part comes when entering the second round. Many of the creations don't understand the torches and pitchforks are merely diagnostic tools to gage quality of workmanship."

Dr. Stein goes on to say the creatures and their builders are judged on style, poise, coordination, and the ability to make small children weep in terror. When asked, Stein said, "The greatest obstacle competitors face is the 'bigger is better' factor. Just because your creature is huge doesn't mean it's going to win. Size really doesn't matter in this contest."

The contest is followed by a barbecue and concert given by the acclaimed polka band "Zombie Rockstar." There will be food, fun, and a playground for the children. Gates open at 7 p.m. All proceeds from the competition benefit medical research for organ and limb transplant. The public is encouraged to participate.

~Fin~